... in finding love stronger than pain

Published on 08 Jan 2019
A series of scrabble pieces spelling out 'Friends' with some small children's toys in the background

I never understood what suffering is all about, all my previous experiences with pain ended up there, which made me desperately try to avoid it. But now something different happened.

A relationship with a friend went wrong. It's not something in particular that happened, but a combination of a busy period in our lives, an increased stress level and poor communication. 

There was a cooling somehow. I felt hurt and abandoned and was hoping my friend would show a sign of care, take the first step, but no. I realised later my friend probably felt the same, and in the middle of that pain where nothing was happening, I found compassion, forgiveness (both for myself and my friend) and love. The desire for reconnecting was suddenly stronger than the pain which seemed overwhelming. It was like for the first time I understood that this is the real me, that love is stronger than the pain that was blocking me before.

And I am grateful to God because this made me realise that I loved that friend, which is a first for me, as I often have difficulties in understanding my emotions and feelings. I am grateful that this pushed me to take the first step and meet my friend, as I am very clumsy at saying sorry and starting again. I am grateful for the painful experience because it led me to love.