… in the chaos of everyday life
I don’t usually find many opportunities for prayer. I have a baby and a toddler who make life a whirlwind of play, chores and caring. Of course, we say daily prayers together as a family before bed when I might say intentions for a sick relative or friend but, what with Sunday mass becoming more like a contact sport than a time for reflection, I have managed to avoid the deep stuff for some time. I ask myself where on earth I can fit that sort of prayer into my life, and have carried on without seriously seeking a solution.
The other day my husband and I had a big disagreement. We have never quite argued like it before and over a day went by without any resolution. The anger and resentment were so high that we got to the stage where we could no longer look each other in the eye.
Suddenly I needed God, I had to pray immediately and listen hard. I couldn’t wait until the children were settled and in bed, I had to make it work in my normal routine. I grasped at any moment where my mind, at least, was free: feeding the baby for his nap, washing up the dishes, even when changing a nappy. My internal dialogue with God continued throughout the day restarting wherever we had left off. Even though this was not a week long silent retreat, where I could really immerse myself in prayer and listening, amongst the noise and the mess I heard God’s voice.
It took a difficult and painful experience for me to realise it, but I now know that I don’t always need to escape from life to find God. He is with me throughout my day, from the glorious moments to the most insignificant – I only need to reach out and speak to Him.